Because I have graduated college, I am now moving on to the “next stage of life,” or what is otherwise known as “Post-College Panic Time.” This basically means that I am moving into an apartment and starting graduate school and pretending like I am not about to hit my mid-twenties because who wants to be THAT old? I kid, kind of.
Anyway, preparing for my apartment has consisted of a variety of crafty projects, because I am “crafty” in both senses of the word: sly and artistic. I have slyly been claiming all of my parents furniture before my brother whilst simultaneously adding my own finishing touches to many pieces, often with the help of my mom.
Because of the necessary messiness that goes along with paint and stain and sandpaper and powertools, most of these crafty activities take place in the garage.
The garage is also the home of Dagwood. If you don’t remember who Dagwood is, give this a read, because it is both informative and hilarious.
When people hang out in Dagwood’s home looking busy, it makes Dagwood nervous. Very nervous. He doesn’t really know what to do with himself, but he knows that he wants to fit in. Which is why Dagwood takes it upon himself to start crafting projects of his own, often using materials I have gathered for my own crafty purposes.
The scene looks like this:
Hayley spends 2 hours painting her super-cute desk in hip and trendy colors.
Dagwood spends two hours chewing a paint stick into itty-bitty pieces. He looks very proud upon completion.
It really brings the entire garage together, let me tell you.
The winner of the last Marvelist Monday poll, Which Pie is Most Tasty, is…
PEACH/APPLE!
Solid choices, if I do say so myself. Fruity, but solid.
I’ve taken a brief hiatus as a result of boring reasons such as graduating college and obtaining paying internships and snuggling with my rabbit and buying things for my swanky new apartment and crafting other things for said apartment and visiting my far-away boyfriend, but I am making an attempt to be back on a weekly basis!
Because I have just completed my Bachelors degree, I thought it would be appropriate to make a list of the 5 best things about college! Because, well… college is awesome. Period.
05. Higher Learning! But for real though. This is nerdy of me, but one of the top reasons college is so much better than high school is that you don’t have to deal with a lot of the time-waste that goes along with such a structured curriculum. Class doesn’t (usually) wait on everyone to pay attention or even show up. Class happens, with or without you, and it is taught by a professional in the field. Heaven.
04. Diversity There are so many different people in college, it opens up your world. Especially when you come from a very small town like I did, the chance to interact with people from so many different places and different walks of life is extremely exciting! No matter what, college makes you more worldly and expands your horizons… for the better!
03. Free Stuff Sure, you are racking up tons of debt in student loans, but that doesn’t mean that you have to pay for everything. As long as you a resourceful and read lots of fliers, you can indulge in lots of free things. Okay, it’s mostly pizza and pens. But still. Free pizza and pens!
02. Socializing And I’m not just talking about the bar and frat party scene, but that works too. College is like real life, but everyone in your city happens to be about your age and most of the people are pretty cool, if you really get to know them. All activities are geared toward you and people like you. You don’t have to really interact with children and old people, except maybe professors. And if you’re single, your dating pool has never been larger. Socialize away!
01. Freedom College is synonymous with freedom. For most people, it is the first time living away from home and out from under the watchful eye of parents. You choose everything. You choose your classes, if you will go to them or not, where you live, what you eat, what you do with your spare time. It’s up to you. This can be problematic for some, but it is the best possible way to spread your wings and fly a little… but still have the backing of your parents and, probably, your Resident Assistant.
Although my blog may make it seem otherwise, I am a very picky eater. Even though approximately 84.6% of my posts include the tag “food,” I have surprising and strong aversions to foods that are typically well-liked, including (but not limited to) hamburger, pork chops, ground pepper, pineapples, white chocolate, shrimp, pale ale, pears, steak, bell peppers, cilantro, broccoli, artificial strawberry, and anything spicy. Also anything made of cow. At any rate, I am picky. However, I am also very adventurous.
This means that I like to try a lot of new foods and make faces of disgust afterwards.
But sometimes, I am pleasantly surprised!
Recently, on my vacation on a fabulous cruise ship, I had the opportunity to try a lot of different foods because cruise ships are magical and all the food on them is free. Even the chocolate cake they deliver to your room late at night because you and your brother decided it was the perfect time for chocolate cake and you were famished after fighting the eighth gym leader in Pokemon Soul Silver. All the food.
As a result, I had the opportunity to try both duck and scallops.
A obsessive healthy obsession with everything Gordon Ramsay has ingrained in me an interesting knowledge of food and an intuitive instinct to smash scallops with my fist and shout “RAW! IT’S RAW, YOU DONKEYS!” at the top of my lungs when they are presented on a plate in front of me. However, I remembered to check my scallops first, discovered that they were not actually raw, and happily enjoyed the apparently-delicious foodstuff that I had never before tasted without causing a scene or referring to anybody as a “donkey.”
Incidentally, all of my food knowledge, gleaned from various episodes of various shows on the ever-entertaining Food Network, made me the culinary expert, as far as my brother was concerned. I happily explained the flavor of ingredients and identified types of fish for him throughout the entire trip.
Mostly in theory, because, let’s face it, most food is just plain nasty.
The winner of the last Marvelist Monday poll, the 5 Best Man/Woman Duets, is…
“NOTHING BETTER” BY THE POSTAL SERVICE!
Moving on… I know what you’ve been thinking: Wow, Hayley hasn’t talked about food in a while!
I also know that you’ve been following up that thought with: Mmmmm, food. I’m hungry.
And for that, I apologize. However, the both thoughts are relevant and true. I encourage you to procure some refreshments and provisions before you consider reading. Bring your own pie, if you so choose. Pie makes an excellent snack at any time and is relatively computer-friendly, in comparison to other food such as Cheetos or Doritos or… any other type of chip that leaves a brightly-colored residue on your fingers. Think about eating lots of saucy chicken wings whilst simultaneously surfing the net. Now, replace the chicken wings with pie. Your computer just breathed a sigh of relief.
Maybe it’s because I have been rewatching the highly-underrated television masterpiece, Pushing Daisies, or maybe it’s because pie is so delicious, but I have had pie on the brain for some time now and I need to get it out of my system. Incidentally, if you haven’t seen that show, do it. If this isn’t convincing, I don’t know what is.
Anyway, pie is excellent, and I have ranked them for you. But first, a word from the esteemed Jason Segel on the subject:
image source: uberhumor.com
Now that I have established that pie is cool, because Jason Segel says so, I will proceed with my list of the the 5 Most Delicious Pies!
05. Apple Tart apples, cinnamon, nutmeg, all in a sweet and buttery crust. If this doesn’t say “autumn,” then it definitely says “anytime you want,” and, either way, I should be consuming it at all times.
image source: timeinc.net
04. Chocolate MousseThe best thing about Chocolate Mousse pie is not, in fact, the chocolate part. Or the mousse part. It’s the par where this pie is half cheesecake and half pie and wholly delicious.
image source: squarespace.com
03. Peach Let’s face it, people. Pie is just fruit wrapped into a little pocket of the best crust you could ever imagine, baked to golden-brown perfection and served right out of the oven with some ice cream, if you feel like it. The last part is optional. But make that fruit peaches, and I am head over heels.
image source: nandyala.org
02. Coconut Cream This pie, while controversial, is also delicious. Cream pies make up a substantial portion of the pie-market, and deserve equal recognition from their more traditional cousins, described by one notably-beautiful pie-enthusiast as “fruit wrapped into a little pocket of the best crust you could ever imagine, baked to golden-brown perfection and served right out of the oven with some ice cream, if you feel like it.” And coconut cream is an absolute stand-out.
image source: blogspot.com
01. Cherry Cherry is and always will be my favorite pie. I’m talking about tart cherries, not sweet cherries, and a pie of the homemade variety, but I don’t want to split hairs, here. Tart and sweet, the combination of both of these flavors mixed into a molten layer of heaven between two flaky crusts cannot be beat.
image source: lottieanddoof.com
If that was not convincing enough, I will let Jason conclude my argument by making sure that you understand that pie is a 10 on the cool-scale. And the scale only goes to 5.
This winter has not been kind to me when it comes to sicknesses, and a great variety at that. It might have something to do with the fact that I refuse to acknowledge sickness until it is too late, because I feel like giving attention to the coughing and mucus and exhaustion will somehow make it stronger. Because sickness feeds off of attention like Irving feeds off of freeze-dried bloodworms, and I simply do not have the time or energy to be sick. These are facts and therefore I refuse sickness wholeheartedly, and move along with my day.
I have no concrete proof, but this method of treating illness does not seem to be super-effective.
Which is why, when I found myself in bed and pretty sure most definitely combating a fever despite keeping myself heavily medicated with Advil to prevent such things, I decided I needed to see a doctor. I enlisted my friend Krista to take me, partially because I hate driving and partially because I was deathly ill and not completely convinced the doctor’s attention wouldn’t make the illness infinitely worse and drunk with attention-power.
After the agonizing part where you arrive at the doctor’s office and are forced to fill out paperwork about your medical past and check a lot of boxes and promise to pay them whatever they say at the end, I finally made my way out of the waiting room and into the mysterious back rooms of the clinic. This was followed by the “random tests” portion of the exam, where you have to let people weigh you and take your blood pressure and ask you things about your bathroom habits for some medial purpose, but I also suspect it is to give the doctor more time to do doctor-y things before tending to you and your silly little cold.
Finally, the doctor walked in.
He was basically average in every way, middle aged, middle weight, middle height. This is how the exam went:
Doctor: “Okay, I’m going to listen to your lungs. Deep breath.”
Me: *deep breath*
Doctor: “Okay, you have some fluid in your lungs. It’s almost bronchitis but not quite yet. Now, I’m going to look in your ears. Hold still.”
Me: *hold still*
Doctor: “Okay, you have some fluid in your ears. It’s almost an ear infection but not quite yet. Now, I’m going to look up your nose. Hold still.”
Me: *hold still*
Doctor: “Okay, your nose looks like it’s almost about to bleed but not quite yet. Now, i’m going to feel your lymph nodes, are they swollen?”
Me: “Probably.”
Doctor: “They are mildly swollen. Does this hurt?” *suddenly presses hard on my face without warning*
Me: “Um….. yes.”
Doctor: “Just as I thought… your sinuses have fluid in them as well. What are your symptoms? Malaise?”
My dear readers, this is where the doctor tried to throw out unusual medical jargon to confuse me and let me know how smart he is. However, I had recently done a Google search for the symptoms of typhoid fever, due to a recent outbreak at my college, and I was incredibly well informed.
Me: “Yes, and a fever and all that jazz.”
He probably looked shocked at my knowledge of the term “malaise.” That’s how I remember it, anyway.
Doctor: “I am going to give you medicines.”
And that is how I went to the doctor and almost had all of the diseases, but really didn’t have any of them just yet. And my diseases proceeded to take all of that attention the doctor gave them, and turn it in to even more diseases that did not respond to treatment by the medicine, leaving me with malaise to this very day. Or maybe I am just staying up too late watching episodes of What Not To Wear. The jury is out on that one.
The winner of the last Marvelist Monday poll, the Best Donut, is…
ANOTHER KIND OF DONUT!
Well, it seems as though we do not match up on our donut-tastes. But I think we can still be friends. Hopefully. Please?
I apologize deeply for my recent absence, I have been doing real-life things again and I suppose that is the consequence of being a senior in college. Irving is currently battling a mysterious illness, so I have been a part-time student and full-time beginner fish-doctor with mixed results, but I am optimistic! At any rate, I have decided to compile a list of the 5 Best Man/Woman Duets for your listening pleasure! And by “best,” I mean the best ones from my current “Get Stuff DONE” playlist, and I don’t mean in the entire history of the universe. Perhaps in the entire last four months.
That doesn’t mean these songs are worthless. Think of them as a little snapshot of musical storylines told from the perspectives of two people! And THAT definitely sounds interesting- so give them a try!
05. Borne on the FM Waves of the Heart – Against Me!
Like most duets, this one is kind of sad. Except it is also nice to listen to. What can I say? I am simply a fan of sad songs, and that is okay.
04. After All That, It’s Come To This – Amos the Transparent
So, I might have become addicted to this one because of that ad for the dating website Plenty of Fish, because the ad is adorable. But also the song is good, despite not being as lovey-dovey as the commercials.
03. Little Talks – Of Monsters and Men
This song has been blowing up the radio lately, and I can’t say that I mind very much! Except I am mildly afraid of the horrible consequence of listening to a song you like so much that you suddenly hate it and never want to hear it again. Plus, this band’s from Iceland! How cool is that?
02. Somebody that I Used to Know – Gotye
By now, you’ve probably heard this one a substantial amount of times, too. But that doesn’t mean that it’s no longer good! If you are gonna be all hipster about it, I have a post that would be better suited for you.
01. Nothing Better – The Postal Service
Much like the number 2 song, this song is great because it offers two different perspectives of a break up, and I can’t get enough. There are always two sides to every story, and hearing the points of view of both participants in song form is probably more entertaining than having to hear it from each side in person and through a whole mess of tissues and chocolate cake. Maybe I’m just not a fan of real-life drama. Either way. Give it a listen.
If you are only just tuning in, you should know that this post is, in fact, part of a series. You may have gathered that from the ever-informative “(Part II)” tagged onto the end of the title, but maybe you stopped reading at “night shift” and never made it around to the bit at the end. In any case, you can read the first part of the story here, and reading that part is highly recommended, because it will make this part make more sense, and also it will make you laugh, maybe.
We left off last time at 3:00 AM and a mid-shift dance party. If you’ll recall, I was busting out some sweet dance moves that were both swaggy and enticing.
3:47 AM
Drink the energy shot because you are exhausted from all the dancing.
3:47:30 AM
Remember that energy shots are disgusting. React appropriately, but secretly be grateful for the energy.
3:48 AM
Decide you should knit some more because you suddenly feel incredibly productive! Knit your little heart out!
4:32 AM
When you are tired of knitting, Pinterest some more. Repin lots of food recipes. Become hungry. Wish you had some snacks left.
4:55 AM
Write your deep dark secrets in your diary because your brain suddenly needs to express all of its emotional and heart-wrenching thoughts.
4:56 AM
Think “lol just kidding” to your future blog readers because you are not an angsty teenager and therefore do not write deep dark secrets in your diary, don’t be ridiculous. Pat yourself on the back for being so hilarious and sarcastic.
4:57 AM
Actually think about horrible and embarrassing things from your past that you could have written in your diary, and realize that you were perhaps a little hasty before when you were being sarcastic.
5:03 AM
Google “funny cats” to make yourself feel better.
5:43 AM
Finish knitting a scarf for your boyfriend. Vow to wear it proudly for the rest of the shift and inform anyone who talks to you that you knitted it yourself for your very tall and very sweet boyfriend. Try to resist showing them pictures of said boyfriend but realize that such things might happen anyway.
6:07 AM
Suddenly become worried about your future.
6:08 AM
Decide to learn French, “right here, right now, no excuses.”
6:25 AM
Decide that French is impossible, or impossible, as they say in French, and decide to Pinterest some more instead. Become very disappointed that Pinterest is no longer interesting.
6:55 AM
Have a very fast end of work dance party before you are relieved from your shift, because you deserve it. You were able to drag yourself across the finish line through willpower and sheer strength… maybe with the help of some cookies and yarn.
